Sawblade's speeches

I have never seen such lousy playcalling at the end of a football game. Once again the Wahoos showed that they have no concept of how to use timeouts, and that we have possibly the worst secondary in the country. The other team is 15 yards away from tying the game up with a minute and a half left, and you let them milk the clock! Idiots! You should have used your timeouts so you’d have the chance to get the ball back if they score, which they did on 4th down, showing that our secondary can never make a big play (giving up 5 TD’s to the opposing QB by the way). And in overtime, UVA had the ball first and went for a field goal! I was yelling during the whole overtime not to ever kick a field goal and they did it anyway… you always need a touchdown in overtime if you have the ball first, especially when your defense gave up back to back 80 yard touchdown drives. You have no reason to believe your defense can stop them from scoring a touchdown from 25 yards away and for some reason Groh thought they could anyway. Horrible playcalling… the team definitely deserved to lose. What an embarrassing end to this season.

Maybe I'm just a forgettable person.

Randomness of the day: So I go to the bookstore today and buy a book called "How to calm down". When I take it to the cashier, he takes one look at me and says, "Hmm, you don't seem like a very agitated person!" I look at him and say, "Well, you've known me for 10 seconds!"

i don't know...

brain, you have once again really screwed me in the foot. One of these days I will find that proverbial off-switch so you can't do this to me anymore.

What's the bigger risk.... waiting and hoping for something great to happen and risk missing out on life, or just trying to live your life in the present and throwing away the chance to find greatness? Economists and their laws of opportunity cost.... grr....

After so much work on my climatology project, I made my preliminary presentation today... now I have one week to figure the rest of it out and write up the research. I'd take a sigh of relief if I was sure I wouldn't get the wind knocked out of me. You fall over one hurdle and scab up your leg, then you jump back up because you have to and keep going and leap across the next one. And I know that there are so many others ahead but for the moment, just for the moment I want to stop and be free from trying to fight everything that both myself and life throws at me, all those that either push you over the edge or stop you right in your tracks. It's very near at the end of the semester and I feel almost exactly what I felt like at the end of last semester for very similar reasons, and once again I know that at the end of it is the finish line that heads up 29 to home, and it doesn't feel like the right finish.
I just keep thinking about the plane ride back from Yuma (well technically we flew out from Long Beach) last year and remember the "silent" panic attack I had, and that's when I knew that either I had to change dramatically or I wouldn't make it. And for almost the rest of the semester I did, I lived like I had almost nothing to lose. And in the process I pushed myself beyond so many limits I thought I had. And now, now I feel like life's forced me back on that plane and I have to constantly remind myself that I'm no longer who I was on that plane. For these past few days I've had to strive like there was no tomorrow, and if I hadn't made it to tomorrow I wouldn't have made it to today without cursing yesterday. Not that that'll really make any sense... I'm not really sure if I understand that, but it's what came to me. So glad that Wesley friends are there for me..I don't know where I'd be without them.